I recently went shopping for panties. Shopping for undergarments is one of those things I kind of prefer to put off if the GAP doesn’t have my favorites available in my size. I have a favorite underwear from there, bras are an entirely different story. The GAP happened to be out of their cotton lowrise hipsters in my size during this shopping trip. These are perfect panties for a girl whose been athletic her entire life and has muscular thighs with a bit of a booty. They are supposed to cover the entire booty area, according to the GAP website. Mine isn’t that big and it doesn’t. They are still comfy despite the lack of booty coverage. I don’t know what bigger gals wear for panties. My ex used to wear Victoria’s Secret cotton bikini underwear, she was bigger than me at least in clothing size – I beat her out in height. And the last girl I dated was probably about a size 12 and wore g-strings. Bikini and g-strings both seem like the most uncomfortable underwear, ever. I can not stand the way the elastic around the legs seem to cut off circulation in my legs. I can’t believe either of these women were comfortable in them. I suppose its just one of the joys of being female: uncomfortable undergarments. My other problem with bikini and many other styles of panties is the actual size of coverage for one’s crotch. Have you ever actually looked at how small that little patch, that is supposed to cover your goodies really is?! I’m a skinny girl and I don’t know what someone with a bigger area of coverage does, because many times there isn’t enough coverage for me! I feel like the people making women’s underwear have no idea that only a 12 year old girl might be able to comfortably wear their womens’ underwear. Or are they implying that women should have perfect little vagina and labia like a porn star? Porn stars are surgically enhanced, or decreased to be exact.
I ended up buying a few pairs of black cotton ‘boy-shorts’ from Target. One would imagine that they would cover everything, they don’t. They didn’t seem that small when I was looking at them. After wearing them about an hour I realized how incredibly small they really are. My booty is would be blowing in the wind if I wore them under a skirt. These are far from being defined as “shorts.” I think these would be in the classification of undergarments you wear when you hope or are going to get laid. I kind of feel like most women’s undergarments are designed with this idea in mind: that we’re just going to get them ripped off of us anyhow. I don’t think the fashion industry makes things for practicality anymore for women, unless your a 90 year old woman. I don’t want to wear granny pants! I’m still young and virile and don’t want to wear old lady underwear… so therein lies the problem. I suppose if there was someone willing and able, I would look pretty cute to them in these teenie-tiny underpants. But there isn’t. I’m sitting here alone in velour pj bottoms and a wife beater with butterflies on it. I’m also wearing a see-through bra that no one any time soon is going to see. My undergarments seem to serve no purpose other than to be really pretty when I take my clothes off.
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